My Law School Reunion – “Live Each Day to the Fullest”

I spent last weekend with my Santa Clara University law school classmates for our 30th reunion.  As a group, we’re a little older, a little grayer (or balder), a little heavier, and a little wiser than the last time we met for our 25th.   As is common for me after such events, I needed to come home and process all I saw and heard, and re-orient my brain around the new realities.  John Smith is now bald!  Sam Lee gained thirty pounds!  Terry Jones has been divorced three times!  Pat Johnson left the law firm and opened a winery! And sadly, we mourned the deaths of both students and faculty.

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A picture of me at my graduation from law school in 1983

Having been officially retired for an entire three weeks by the time of the reunion, I came with perhaps a different perspective this time.   I wasn’t so much into the professional networking and career advice.  I was more interested in learning about what has been meaningful in people’s lives and what activities they are passionate about.

On Friday at the first event (a portrait unveiling) I sat next to my former Criminal Law professor, who completely intimidated me as a first-year law student.  She is still teaching but in the process of phased retirement.  Once I got over the long-ingrained terror of being in her presence, we had a lovely chat about my career and hers, my retirement and hers, Paris and the theatre.  We furtively exchanged notes during the portrait ceremony and I even slipped her my blog address (she thought the blog was a splendid idea).  It was gratifying to hear from her and other professors that they have a genuine contentment and personal satisfaction with teaching.  It is remarkable how many professors from my student days are still there and that is a credit to the law school.

The second day I met the new Dean of the law school,  who is the first female Dean.  She was a bundle of energy and warmth.  I shared my memories of my law school experience as well as a 3-minute recap of my career, specialty area and retirement status, and she immediately suggested two or three activities that I could do in connection with the law school and that all sounded frankly interesting.   Some involved mentoring, others developing programs in my subject matter expertise area.  In her prepared remarks, she gave a “state of the law school” and shared that class size is down as prospective students are more critically looking at the cost of a law school education (the class of 2013 was averaging about $120K in debt) and deciding that the end result is not worth it.  Partnered with the fact that the law school has a strong mission toward training lawyers who will give back to the community and not just look to the financial rewards of the profession.  The former Dean therefore kicked in a record amount of financial aid in order to attract a quality incoming class.

Prior to dinner on Saturday night, the keynote speaker was Leon Panetta, a 1963 law school graduate, who was attending his own 50th reunion, I have met Mr Panetta in the past (I bumped into him on the way to fetch another cocktail at my 25th reunion), followed his career, and have the utmost respect for him.  He has served as U.S. Congressman, White House Chief of Staff, Director of OMB and Director of the CIA. Most recently, he was the Secretary of Defense (and thus my son’s boss!) under President Obama.  He and his wife Sylvia established the Panetta Institute for Public Policy in Monterey. At our event, he spoke candidly on a wide range of topics, including the state of Washington, DC and the crisis in Syria.

Mr. Panetta’s personal testimony is what I found most compelling.  He is the son of poor Italian immigrants.  His father owned a small restaurant in Monterey.  Mr. Panetta worked hard and embodied the American Dream while staying true to his principles.  His life work was one of service to our country.  His charge to himself was and is to live each day to the fullest and to make the most of his God-given talents and skills to make a difference in the world.  He observed that our country is at a critical juncture at a time where we have a crisis in leadership. He pointed out that each day the men and women of our military put their lives on the line to serve our country and their families often pay the ultimate sacrifice.   His charge to us was to also give back, and that we too should feel an obligation to our communities and to use our legal training to effect positive change.

My weekend thus far had reminded me that whatever I decide to do next, my activities need to include at least some that are larger than myself, that will work toward change in the world.  My Crim Law professor observed that many of the retirees she knew tended to limit their world to their immediate families after retirement.  I want to challenge myself to expand my world.  I have committed to not commit for a year…but I am starting a list of ideas for ways I can serve that will best use my skills and interests. And things that will bring me a sense of satisfaction and contentment.

Of course, then it was time for the wine reception and class dinner, and that’s where the rubber meets the road.   What has our class been doing…and how have we served our world?  There were some cautionary tales (divorces, alcohol, early death) to be told along with endearing tales of friendship.  But mainly that’s where we reconnected and renewed our relationships,  re-lived the old days, drank a little too much,  laughed at ourselves and had great fun. But I’ll save that for another post……

The Great Experiment: Early Retirement…….or Now What?!

Since I am looking at this first year of retirement as a science experiment, I harken back to high school science where we were required to write up our experiments using a prescribed format.  Now this is bringing back bad memories as I passed chemistry by the skin of my teeth, and only due to the patience and competence of my lab partner Charmaine (who went on to be an RN I later heard).   But pushing qualms aside in the name of good scientific discipline:

Experiment Name:  Betsy’s Early Retirement

 Aim(s):

  1. To finish clean-up projects around the house that have been kicked down the road for too many years;
  2. To learn how to “do” retirement happily; and
  3. To discover rewarding activities that feed me physically, spiritually and emotionally (and perhaps financially).

Sub-Aim:

  1. To avoid driving my husband OR myself crazy, OR finding myself right back on the “busy” hamster (or guinea pig to keep the science imagery going) wheel doing pointless stupid activities that provide no satisfaction or compensation for my time, which would be even worse than my old job (at least I used to get paid)

Hypotheses:  By the end of the year, my lack of a specific or well-thought-out plan for retirement or any detectable notable skills or hobbies will propel me to:

  1. Get involved in one or more volunteer, non-profit or part-time work activities that will get me out of the house and provide social interaction and an outlet for my energy but provide enough flexibility to do trips and travel; OR
  2. Stumble across some presently unknown skill or hobby which will prove all-consuming and will lead me to become, for example, the next Barefoot Contessa (cooking) or Patty Sheehan (golf) or finally win the Valley Beautiful award for our house (gardening); OR
  3. Beg for my corporate job back after we spend all of our money and/or drive each other crazy.

Equipment:  I will be heavily relying on my support system: my husband, son, and therapist, our financial advisor, my friends, my church community, Rick Steves, the Laughing Chicks (you know who you are) and my Book Club.  I will also be tapping into our Wine Club stash as a resource.

Procedure:   I set up a short framework or  “To Do List” for myself this year that I intend to complete:

  1. Visit Paris for the first time with my husband (a life-long dream!)
  2. Clean out the garage and a storage shed (the much-deferred clean-up projects that will be painful and God-awful but liberating to complete)
  3.  Inventory my deceased parents’ belongings (in said garage and storage shed), work out with my brothers what to keep and what goes to who,  and get rid of the rest
  4. Pack up the parental items for my brothers in our new SUV and…..
  5. Do a Route 66 driving trip with my husband (another life-long dream) to deliver the goods (first stop…St Louis!)
  6. Determine what our next big trip will be and when
  7. Rest and recover from the corporate world!

Beyond that, I will go with the flow, open myself up to new experiences, not make any commitments for a year and purposely let things evolve.  Stay tuned for observations and results!   (Now you see why I wasn’t so good at Chemistry…..I usually had no earthly idea what was going to happen in our experiments.)

A New Dawn – What I did My First Day of Retirement

In some ways, I had two “first” days of retirement.  My last day at work was a Thursday, so Friday was my first official day of retirement. I was happy to be free of my job and I wanted to do something special to commemorate the event.   Awhile back, I saw an ad campaign; I believe for Ameriprise Financial , that featured photos people took of the sunrise on their first day of retirement.  I thought that was pretty cool, so I filed the idea in the back of my head (the back of my head is a scary place) for “someday.”

A new dawn – sunrise on August 16, 2015, my first official day of retirement

When that “someday” actually came, I convinced my husband to go with me at sunrise to some hills overlooking the other side of our town facing east.  We researched the time of sunrise, scoped out the perfect spot for a photo, packed up a camera and tripod and then rolled out of bed at 0-dark thirty and drove to the spot.  And I didn’t even have a cup of coffee to fuel this insanity.

My fashion choice for the day was the the “Free At Last “T-Shirt I presented to my father before my wedding in 1988

For the special event, I chose to wear a t-shirt that read “Free At Last – Fathers Day 1988.”  This was a shirt that I gave my father (now deceased) the night before our wedding (which was a Fathers Day weekend).  He had been so proud of my career and me and, besides the event-appropriate freedom message, it was a meaningful way to include my parents in this celebration even though they are no longer here.

Of course, what we failed to take into account in our sunrise calculations was that the sun came up behind some peaks to the northeast, making sunrise about 30 minutes later at our particular spot.  That meant coming up with all sorts of novel ways to entertain ourselves on a road in the hills above town at dawn.  Luckily this was CA in summer so braving the elements was not a concern.  One diversion was taking practice pictures of me jumping for joy with the sunrise in the background…timing it just right for the camera shutter.  After doing about 20 of them I was exhausted, but I got a couple of shots that really made me laugh.

Synchronized jumping – should be considered at the next Senior Olympics!

After we got our shots, we went home and back to sleep.  Later I prepared for a girls weekend beach trip, so Friday ultimately felt more like the start of a 3-day weekend than the first day of retirement.

Monday was therefore, in my opinion, my real “first” day of retirement, and here was my agenda (all times are estimates since I quickly lost track of time):

  • 8:30 AM…Wake up
  • 9:00 AM…Check my calendar to see if there is anything on it (force of habit – there wasn’t)
  • 9:30 AM…Eat oatmeal (made by my husband) with my husband
  • 10:30 – 11:30 AM…Sort through stuff I brought home from office
  • 11:30 AM….Throw 90% of it away
  • Noon….Check Facebook and send email to my friends at work just to irritate them
  • 12:30  PM….Eat peanut butter & jelly sandwich I made myself (gold star)
  • 1:00 PM…Clean out my closet
  • 3:00 PM….Take a nap.

Note:  Around 4:00, I was going to start working on our itinerary for our upcoming Paris trip but my husband suggested we go for an early walk and then drink margaritas in the pool in the rafts with cup-holders that we recently discovered in our garage, which sounded like a much better use of my time.  Planned agenda aborted.

All in all, it was a surprisingly busy day “doing nothing.”   I did feel like I got some things accomplished.  There wasn’t the adrenaline rush of closing on a big new business deal, but a satisfaction in a  having the luxury to do one thing at a time at a slower pace and focus.  I always felt like I was juggling 30 balls in my job.

Post-script:  My husband made the margaritas a tad strong…so the day was ended with both of us passed out on the couch after watching the CBS evening news with Scott Pelley.  Three cheers for the old boring folks!

Early Retirement

Reflecting on my last day in the office

Reflecting on my last day in the office

After a fairly intense 25-year corporate career, I recently opted for early retirement at age 55. On August 15, I turned in my BlackBerry, laptop, American Express, and security badge, packed up a few family pictures and files from my office, and walked out the door.   It felt like the weight of the world off my shoulders! I shocked more than a few people with my decision, as I was at the height of my career and earning potential and few could see me sitting at home doing nothing all day.  For crying out loud, I don’t even do the cooking, cleaning or laundry at home and we recently achieved empty-nester status with our son off to college in Annapolis.  My biggest hobby is reading People magazine when it appears in the mailbox each Friday, and reading a book a month for my book club.  Co-workers consistently asked me “So what will you DO, Betsy?!!”

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